i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Randomize
