...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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