I want to have your abortion
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
