yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
