It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
