I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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