If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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