This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
