my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
