I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
