I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
