Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I have already put on my inside pants.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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