but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
