Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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