Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
