Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
