i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
