If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
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