I've blown a few things in my day
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
