Plan B is the new Plan A
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
