Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
