no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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