I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
