I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
