is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
