Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(+44): View more from England

You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?

(609): View more from New Jersey

And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud

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(573): View more from Missouri

his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"

(314): View more from Missouri

did it work

(573): View more from Missouri

that's not the point...

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.

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(404): View more from Georgia

My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.

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(225): View more from Louisiana

If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.

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(+61): View more from Australia

Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me

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(630): View more from Illinois

i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.

(708): View more from Illinois

how about your cousin?

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