I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Randomize
