You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
