Midget sex pt 2 tonight
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
she looked like the before picture.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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