It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
