D3 body, D1 cock
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Vodka?
Forever.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Randomize
