I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
