im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
