my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
His nipple licking is glorious
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