forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
