I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
