the day after is always just damage control
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
