They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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