dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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