You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
