Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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