I didn't shave. On purpose
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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