3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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