i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
