Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Randomize
