and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
