my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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