I think I won the penis lottery.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
