God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
