community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
